Life is too short so laugh harder, love deeper, and forgive sooner.

A day in the life and random tidbits. Many friends receive emails with this title from time to time to just give them a glimpse into the crazy comedy that is my life in Rwanda. I decided to post some for everyone's reading pleasure.

-My Kinyarfranglish is rapidly improving, but my command of the English language is slowly but surely diminishing as a result.

-My supervisor is a career development expert from Scotland...she's done alot and is pretty awesome. However after working with her for a couple of months I now find myself responding to and/or saying things like, "Do you fancy a cuppa?".

-I can either be called skinny or fat, depending on what I'm wearing, all in the same day.

-It always seems as if I get into the 30 passenger buses when travelling in Rwanda, and end up sitting in the middle...with NO WINDOW!! It wouldn't be so bad if once you started driving, like a domino effect, EVERYONE didn't start closing their window. Now you end up getting to your destination smelling of sweat, other people's B.O., vomit (in some cases), and the man that was sitting waaaayyyy in the back's cologne (I'm tired and couldn't figure out how to grammatically fix this sentence).

-I went to a going away house party for a friend the other day (We miss you Louise!!), and found out from many Rwandans in attendance that I was the first black American they've ever met. I was dancing with this one guy, he asked where I was from, and I told him. He didn't believe me because he said I didn't dance like other Americans, I danced like a Rwandan. We went back and forth about this, and I ensured him that I was American. He said, but I don't understand, Americans can't dance. He had only met white Americans, and his generalization was that none of them could dance. We laughed about it for a bit and he danced away. I then realized as he walked past others they all began to look at me. The volume of the music just so happend to be turned down as someone said..."What?! She's American?!?! You lie!". I decided to take a break from all the stares at this point, and went to have a seat. That's when I noticed this other guy looking at me in the distance. He then walked over to me, knelt on his knee, and started wiping away tears. Me: "Why are you crying?" Him: "I am just so happy that I have met you. You have come all the way from America to work with us, and that makes my heart happy." Me: "Uhhh....that's great, but can we talk about this some other time? People are starting to look." I know it sounds touching, but not when you're at a house party and everyone has already been staring at you all night.

-I got the cotton part of a Q-tip stuck in my ear (dont' ask and don't judge). In my attempt to get it out, I ended up pushing it in even further. I was too embarrassed to call the PC doctors, because of an equally embarrassing* incident that took place a couple of months ago, so I went to the nurse at my school. I told her...in KINYARWANDA, what happened. She then calls over the guards, matrons, head of maintenance, etc INDIVIDUALLY, so they could better "explain" to her what happened. After I explain it...in KINYARWANDA to the last person, all of a sudden she gets why I'm there, and proceeds to tell me that she doesn't have the tools to help me, and that I must go to the hospital. No offense Rwanda, but I absoultely refuse to go to the hospital here, to have someone stick some large instrument into my ear to remove some Q-tip cotton. So...sigh...I had to suck it up and call the PC doctor. They tell me to come in, ask me what happened, take it out in less than a minute, and I was on my way. Yes they were true professionals about it, but I'm sure I heard uproarious laughter as I was walking out of the med unit. I see you PC doctors...I see you.
*Small details on embarrassing story: I had a really long day, and hadn't eaten, so in my haste to have a delicious PB&J, I accidentally cut my hand (really really bad, almost needing stitches bad) trying to open up a jar of jam with a knife. Don't ask and don't judge, but that PB&J was on point!

-Why do I have a mouse in my house (haha that rhymed)? I don't leave any food out, I thoroughly clean my house...what else must I do? He comes around pretty often, so I just named him Ben. He's cute, and is my friend now. No point in trying to get rid of him, he's a beast and just keeps coming back for more.

-I am now Rwandan...says everyone (including myself). I now grunt in response to things, hang up the phone before saying goodbye, put waaaayyyy too much sugar or salt on/in things before even tasting it, when I don't understand a question instead of saying excuse me, come again, I just scream Eh?, and say to people I haven't seen in awhile, "so and so...long time!".

-I met a guy and told him I was from America. He said ohhh, do you know Mark? He lives in Virginia, and is a black American like you. I say no, sorry don't know him. He looks at me incredulously and says really?! well you should know him...he's a great guy. Uhhhh...I'm sure he is.

-I asked a colleague if now, since I'm working for this major organization in Rwanda, I could get a free Blackberry as well (I knew it was a long shot, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask, and I was half joking when I asked). He said, the organization can't provide it, but I will buy you one in exchange for something else. Uhhh oookayyy. He says that we must sign a contract between him, myself, and the church, then winks and says if you understand what I'm saying. Instead of laughing in his face, which was my gut reaction, I say you must first consult my father. He says no problem, give me his number. Then I say you must talk to my grandfather and all of my many many uncles too...because this is very important to me. He says...Eh eh eh eh, that is too much! I will send them a group email, and our engagement shall be part of a public service annoucement to them all!! Uhhhh.....welcome to my life!

~Amahoro,
Jace, cyangwa Uwineza