Umva! Listen! Ecoute!

I know it’s been a long time since the last time I wrote. Things have been crazy busy here. After returning to Rwanda in late August, after being in the states for a couple of weeks, I had to hit the ground running with work and other projects I’m apart of here.
As many of you may know I was in the states for a couple weeks in the beginning of August. I lost someone very dear to me. Uncle Gene was amazing person. He was so generous, loving, welcoming, encouraging, and full of life. I have never lost someone that close to me, and I took his passing a lot harder than I would’ve imagined. Uncle Gene, I love and miss you immensely. I didn’t allow myself the opportunity to grieve when I was home. As a person with a degree in counseling, I should know better, but at the time my major concern was being there both emotionally and physically for those in the immediate family. So, not really grieving and then coming back to Rwanda, after the school term had already begun 2 weeks prior, was hard. I was being pulled in so many directions here. Students wanted and needed my attention, the faculty at my school wanted me to get back into my teaching schedule, and then had many obligations from the NGO that I’m working with and helping to launch.
So, I thought to get back on track with blogging, I would start with something light, and humorous, so you can get a feel of what my days are like here.

Things I’m slowly becoming used to:

1.People using the title of this blog interchangeably in a conversation, usually with their finger wagging in your face, even though you are fully engaged in said conversation.
2. Men using the sidewalk, a ditch, a tree…anything, as their own private bathroom, and then looking at us passersby as we are the ones intruding on their privacy.
3. Sitting in a bus as women who are trying to get on will hand you all of their personal items. Their suitcase, purse, child, sacks of maize, huge thermoses of tea (or whatever they put in those things).
4. Same aforementioned woman, having her child lift up their shirt in search for food, while on the bus. That same “source” of nutrition falling onto your arm after the child has used it for all of its nutrients. Sidebar: if a child is big enough to sit up straight, lift up your shirt for food, and then throw it down after they have feasted, then I think it’s high time for this said child to be finding its food elsewhere. Not passing judgment…I’m just saying.
5. Seeing this same woman carry all of these things on her back, head, etc. walking up a 90 degree angle dirt hill, in high heels, at night. I have tried this, and it is no easy feat. Well, maybe you can exchange all of her possessions for my back pack, her heels for my flip flops, and night time for day…but still, it’s not easy.
6. Seeing men carry everything and I mean everything, on their heads for miles. I once saw a man carry an entire living room set (this includes sofa frame, two armchairs, and a coffee table) on his head…and I’m not exaggerating. Now if I don’t see someone carrying a queen sized bed frame, two nightstands, and a bureau, I might consider them lazy.
7. Being called and answering to the name Uwineza (my Kinyarwanda name, meaning one who does things well) at work or at the local store. Now when people call me Jacelyn in public, I get confused.
8. Using three different languages interchangeably (Kinyarwanda, French, English) in one conversation, just to get your point across. By the end of these two years I will be fluent in Kinyarfranglish.
9. Not traveling or pretty much doing anything, when it’s raining.
10. No one arriving or turning in assignments on time. I no longer get frustrated when I arrive to a meeting 2 hrs before anyone else does; I just shrug my shoulders and say T.I.A. (This Is Africa). However, as the American, you are expected to arrive on time to everything; and your assignments should be done efficiently and in a timely manner.
11. Going to a restaurant, ordering, and waiting at least an hour for your food to come. No bread offered to tide you over…you just wait. I’ve learned to never go to a restaurant hungry. Instead you go when you’re still a bit satisfied from your previous meal, because by the time your food actually arrives, then you’ll be hungry enough to eat it.



Things I probably will never get used to:

1. People staring at me. I’m not talking a quick, discreet once over out of the corner of your eye. I’m talking full on staring. To the point that you become self conscious, and give yourself the mental once over, wondering: is there a stain on my shirt? I just washed this thing the other day. Is there something wrong with my hair? Is there something in my teeth?
2. When people find out you speak “good” English and are African American, believing the rightful course of the conversation should veer toward them saying, “what’s up my n***a?!” Excuse me…what?!?! Just because I’m African American does not, I repeat, DOES NOT make it ok to say that to me. We don’t all speak like that. In fact, many of us find that term to be highly offensive.
3. Having to explain over and over again, that I come from America. So did my parents, and my parents’ parents, and so on. I’m sorry I can’t give you my direct lineage, and unlock the mystery to what African country my ancestors came from. Now I just say I’m Rwandan or Kenyan. In response they shout I knew it, and high five each other, like they just won some bet.
4. Answering questions about my religion (I hate that term). Typical conversation:
A: Uwineza, what religion do you practice in America?
B: I’m a Christian.
A: (eyes light up with excitement and recognition) So am I! So are you Catholic?
B: No, non-denominational.
A: (blank stare) So….that means you’re like Anglican?
B: No, non-denominational.
A: So…you’re like Episcopalian. (notice this is a statement, no longer a question)
B: No, non-de-nom-i-nat-ion-al.
A: Oh, I get it…you’re a Protestant.
B: NO…non-de-no (cut off by person C)
C: What are you talking about?
A: Oh, religion. Did you know Uwineza was a Protestant?
5. Meeting a man on the bus or in a store. We go through the standard greetings, they ask where I’m from and their eyes light up. So this man, who I just met 2 minutes ago, has professed his undying love for me. I roll my eyes, and sarcastically reply, I love you too buddy.
6. People here NOT understanding sarcasm.
7. Greeting someone EVERYTIME you see them. Not just a simple wave, but actually stopping and greeting them. Now in America, unless you were a friend family member or someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, I wouldn’t cross a major intersection with cars zooming by to greet you. I would just give you a slight wave, scream hey how are ya?!, over the roar of traffic, and keep it moving. Here in Rwanda, no matter if it’s just an acquaintance, you must stop, even if you just left the same place an hour ago. It’s deemed highly disrespectful if you don’t.
8. When inviting someone over to your house, you must offer them something to eat or drink. Not just a glass of water, which is typically all that I ever have in my house; but a Fanta, tea, coffee, and/or an alcoholic beverage. Hence why I hardly ever have anyone over besides Americans. Who has money for all that stuff?
9. When invited over to someone’s house, having to eat or drink something, anything. If you don’t it can translate to you not trusting them, and thinking maybe they are trying to poison you. I remember one time going to my host family’s house after eating a hefty lunch. They offered me a plate, full of starches; I couldn’t even imagine eating another bite of food. Their faces when I first turned the food down, was a look of disappointment…I felt horrible, so I had to eat. Needless to say, I had to be rolled home. Once you eat one plate, they just slop on more food, saying you don’t eat enough.
10. You’re invited over to a friend’s house. You’ve learned your lesson from before, so you don’t eat anything before you head over for dinner at 6pm. You expect to be eating within the next hour or so. Not so. You clearly have to wait until the rest of the family is ready to eat, or the food is prepared. That means even if its 10 pm, if they are just sitting down to dinner, then so are you. (this is not an exaggeration…it’s happened)

Amahoro,
Uwineza (Jace)

"The hardest job you will ever love." -Peace Corps

So...you all are probably wondering what I'm actually doing in Rwanda. I forgot that I haven't mentioned my actual job details in previous posts. I will try to give a brief summary, but to be honest things change and/or are added on a weekly basis.
I teach at an all girls boarding school, which houses approximately 750 girls. The school focuses on math and science, with a particular focus on leadership and empowerment. I am teaching english, life skills, and reproductive health 4 days a week. In addition, I am working on establishing a volunteer program. That consists of locating and contacting various organizations within the community who are seeking volunteers to help with mentoring, teaching english, spending time with children at orphanages, etc. As of right now I have 4 places (schools, NGO's, orphanages) that I am working with. I take about 15-20 girls to each location at least once a month. So far, so good...I haven't lost my mind yet...haha. Also, I am starting a career/guidance counseling program. Career counseling, and just counseling services in general, is not in existence here. Within the entire country there are only 2 counseling centers. I have been spending alot of time researching and contacting people about resources and information on applying to university here in Rwanda and also in the states, and various career options. A majority of my students don't believe they have options when it comes to careers. They truly think, since it's a math and science focused school, that they can only become a doctor or an engineer. They don't know that there are tons of others things they can do within those fields. To be honest, many of them were told they were going to this school once they scored really high on their exams. Its one of the top 3 schools in the country, so its a privilege to get in. Whether they want to pursue math or science, doesn't matter...attendance at this school makes them and their families look good. Oh, and I just found out today that I need to start working with the Anti-AIDS club. I was actually going to put this off til next term, just so I can get my feet wet and start becoming acclimated with the assignments already given, but they want me to start working on it right away. I just don't want to become overwhelmed. I want to be able to devote my time and energy to a small number of things so I can do them efficiently and effectively. Peace Corps wants us to create things that are sustainable, and this won't be the case if I'm being pulled in several directions. The issue now is priortizing. If you ask my direct supervisors at the school, all of these things are pressing issues that need my immediate attention. I know that certain things may have to be pushed back so they can get my full attention. Decisions, decisions, decisions. There's more that I'm doing and excited about, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention it in my blog...so I'll just send that out in an email. I sound really busy, and I am, but I'm happy and excited. If you know me, you know I like to remain busy always...my hands will always find something to do. Keep me in prayer though!

Amahoro (peace)

"Let nothing perturb you. Nothing frighten you. All things pass. God doesn't change. Patience achieves everything." -Mother Teresa

Things I will no longer take for granted:

• education and access to it. Most children here don't make it past primary school because they can't afford school supplies. If they make it past primary, most don't go on to secondary school because they have to pay school fees which equals about 50,000Rwf in the more expensive boarding schools (less than $100USD). If they get through secondary and dont score at least a 4 on the national exam, then they can't get a government funded scholarship to study at university.
• education options. First of all, students here start to pick "majors/specializations" in secondary school. The school I work at focuses on math and science. By the time these girls get into their 4th/5th year of secondary school, they are already doing college level math, chemistry, physics,etc. NO JOKE! Next, if they do well on the aforementioned national exam they can then apply to a school of their choice, if they don't get in there, then the government places them somewhere else with an opening. Universities here are not like the states. Every university, with the exception of a couple, has a particular focus. For example, there's a school of finance and business, agriculture and forestry, education, health, etc. Needless to say, if you wanted to go to school to become a physical therapist, but didn't get into the health university, you may get placed at the school for agriculture and forestry. Interesting huh?


• fridge and food options...no way to preserve food surely diminishes my creativity in the kitchen. I don't cook any meat, I think you have an understanding of why from my last post. I eat alot of peanut butter and jelly, grilled cheese, and pasta. It's easy, you don't have to worry about preservation (with the pasta I make a cup or less, so I can eat that in one meal), and its satisfying.
• Washing machine and a dryer. The other day it literally took me half the day to soak, rinse, and scrub some laundry. That's not even including putting the clothes on the line to dry. On top of that...it rained all that night, and most of my clothes got blown off the line by the wind into a whole bunch of mud. So...cycle repeated.
• Access to water...HOT water! Some days we have water to take showers and some days we don't. If we do have water its freezing cold, but those days im just appreciative to take a shower that I don't care.


• transportation that doesn't squeeze as many people as possible into a small space. Mutatus (small bus/van) will put as many people on as possible, and will not leave until it is filled to capacity. The literal translation in Kinyarwanda is tightly packed...haha!! But, its saving grace is that its extremely cheap. I can get from one side of town to the next for about 75 cents.


• the freedom to wear my hair anyway I want to. The girls in secondary school here must cut their hair into a small, manageable 'fro. Personally, I like to have options.


• spending time with my friends and family.


• an unlimited phone plan where I can just pick up the phone and call or text whenever I want to vs. having to purchase minutes in order to communicate with anyone.


• sleeping without a mosquito net


• not having to take malaria meds once a week (and sometimes i forget and have to play catch up...this is our little secret).


• drinking water from the tap if I so choose without having to worry about what unsightly disease I may get as a result.


• A good book...that's affordable!! Books here cost about 25,000Rwf (that's over $20USD).
• Being able to speak English as rapidly as I want to, without feeling guilty, or hoping that the person I'm speaking to will understand.
• People not being astonished and literally tripping over themselves when they hear me speak English. I have met several Americans who are totally bewildered, and say "WOW your English is amazing!! Who taught you?!" UMMMM...actually I'm also American, English is my native tounge.
• People getting my jokes and my sarcasm...unfortunately these things don't translate in Kinyarwanda. When I try to make jokes in Kinyarwanda most people don't get it...LOL!
• Just being seen as a person. Not having people trying to guess who I am and where I come from. Here, I'm mostly thought to be Kenyan. So walking down the street people will talk to me in Swahili, when I don't respond, they try speaking Kinyarwanda, when I don't respond to that they speak French. After all of that I hear..."Sister, please what language should I speak to you?" Ummm...let's try english?!


• Patience


• The opportunity to give whole-heartedly and without restraint. If I haven't told you yet, my students are amazing!! A lot of the girls at the school are orphans, victims of the genocide, and some are even living with HIV/Aids. Besides their circumstance, these students are anxious and excited about helping, giving, and assisting those less fortunate than they are. Since I have been working on establishing a volunteer program, on a weekly basis the girls come and ask how they can be involved. Yes, I know part of the excitement is that they get to leave the school grounds (its a boarding school, the girls typically don't leave unless they are sick or going home on holiday), but its more than that for them. The looks on their faces when they are able to give the clothes and school supplies they have collected to a group of young girls at another school who can't afford them on their own. Or when we go to a women's village that supports genocide and rape survivors, just to help them clean up the premises...the happiness on the girls faces just to help truly touches me. These are girls who give their last so that someone else may have. How can you not love them?!

Things I've learned:

• The thirst for knowlege amongst my students is insatiable and amazing!! I have never met a group of young girls who wanted to know so much about the world and their academics. These girls wake up at 5 am, and don't go to bed until after 9pm. Yes, they get a couple of breaks throughout the day, but a majority of their time is spent studying. Access to books is not available or just not affordable. They seek me out for whatever novels I brought here. I can give it to them on Monday, check back on Wednesday to see if they are enjoying the book, and they tell me they have already completed it. Where do they find the time to do leisure reading on top of the time spent studying? Do you know what they ask me next...Teacher, do you have any other books? Yes, I do and I will bring it to you. Teacher, but when will you bring it to me...it amazes me.


• Nothing, and I mean nothing will get done here if it is raining (which happens pretty often, we only have short periods for dry season). Teachers will not teach, and students will not put energy into learning. My first time going to class in the rain, almost all of my class had their heads down. Me: this isn't nap time, did you have a busy night last night? Students: Teacher! It's raining! Me: So, just because its raining doesnt mean our brains cant absorb information. Students: But Teacher!! We don't study when its raining...you see there are no other teachers in their classes. They were right, mostly all the teachers were in the staff room. When I asked why...oh we're just waiting out the rain.
• I love African tea...what we call a chai tea latte. Didn't really like it back home, but its actually pretty good here. What could also be pushing this new love for tea, is tea time!! We get a 30-45 min break (this is on top of the 2 hr lunch break) everyday at school just to enjoy a good cup of tea...gotta love Africa!!


• I'm alot stronger than I thought I was...both phsyically and emotionally.
• Seize each and every opportunity. Network and get to know as many people as possible. Not only because you never know how they may be able to assist you in the future, but most importantly because people in the international development sector are great people, with extraordinary stories.


• God is amazing and He continues to blow my mind!!


• I have a bond with 30 other people that I will never have with anyone else.


• Rwanda is a special place, with special people, a unique history, and an ambitious government.


• I'm more patient than I thought I was.


• DREAM BIG!! Your dreams/ideas might sound crazy, but people who really care about you, will support it and may be more gungho than you are...lol (thanks Rachael!!)

Long Overdue...Babidida

Sorry it’s taken so long for me to update this blog, but internet connection
here can be very slow. Since patience isn’t a virtue that I’ve been blessed
with yet (lol), I haven’t had the time or money to sit for long so that I can
post this. I want to cram a month’s worth of information on here, so I
apologize now if this is really long. I will try my hardest to update this more
frequently.
OK! So, WOW I live in Africa!!! I still can’t believe I’m here, and that
I’ve been here a month already. Let me begin by saying if you haven’t had
the opportunity to make a trip to this continent you must do so. Rwanda in
particular has the most gorgeous views. It is indescribably beautiful, and no
picture I could ever take would do it justice. My first 2 days in Rwanda were
spent in Kigali. I got time to spend with fellow trainees, and start getting
some of MANY shots. We also got the chance to meet with the Minister of Health
for Rwanda, and to hear some of his expectations for the work we will be doing
while we are here. This is an opportunity not afforded to many (or any) other
PC groups. We also went to the PC Country Director’s home for a welcome
party, where they had people there doing the native “cow” dance (long story,
I’ll explain about that in another post). We met Odette and John Baptiste,
which was kind of surreal
because I had begun reading about them in this book called, “We Wish to
Inform You that Tomorrow We Will be Killed with Our Families”, a great book
about the history of Rwanda and the genocide.
The following day we got on a bus to embark on a 2-hour journey to Butare,
which is our training site/home for 3 months. I’ve been learning, studying,
and practicing the language and it is no joke! They say that Kinyarwanda (the
local language) is the second hardest language in the world to learn, following
Chinese. That fact alone should give you some insight into how confused I am on
a daily basis. After a day or two in Butare, we went to the stadium to
celebrate one of their national holidays, Heroes’ Day. I think it’s a day
to thank those who helped to put an end to the genocide, but I didn’t get a
lot of clarification on that. During the ceremony my PC group was introduced to
the community, but even after that many still don’t understand what our
purpose is here, and that we are “abakorerabushake” (such a long word to say
volunteers), and don’t have any money. America=rich.
Interestingly enough I am constantly mistaken for Rwandan. People come up to
me speaking Kinyarwanda, and when I look at them totally confused, I’m
questioned and thought to be joking when I say that I don’t speak the
language. The next question of course is, “well where are you from?” my
response “I’m from America”. Them, “no what country in Africa?” me
“I don’t know.” Them, “what do you mean you don’t know?” They
start to get really upset about my ignorance, and I try to explain the whole
African Diaspora, but that doesn’t really translate. There’s a lot more to
say about this but I won’t write it all in this post.
On a good note, my living conditions are not too shabby. It’s definitely not
as primitive as I, and others expected. I have my own room, with a sink. We
have running water and a toilet. I have to take cold bucket baths, but I
quickly got used to that. What’s really weird is that we have wi-fi here?!?!
We were each given a host family, and I absolutely love mine. They are extremely
welcoming. The purpose of a host family is to give you a chance to become more
acclimated with the culture and language by interacting with a local family.
Since we live with fellow volunteers, PC just wants to be sure that we are
getting the real Rwandan experience. With them I have gotten the chance to see
what a Catholic service is like here (3 hours long), and also to experience a 3
couple wedding ceremony (that’s a story for another blog as well).
The US Embassy says that Rwanda is the safest country in Africa, and I truly
believe them especially when we have police patrolling the streets 24/7. We
have gone to 2 genocide memorials since we’ve been here. Both are really hard
to experience, but the second one had me in tears. The background story to the
Murambi Memorial is a sad one. In short, it was a local technical school where
many local authorities and church leaders told the Tutsis to go for protection.
In reality they were trying to get all the Tutsis from that area in one location
so that it would be easier to kill them. The memorial consists of about 21
rooms of bodies that they have preserved with limestone. It was difficult to go
through these rooms and see the remains of women, men, children, and physically
see how they died. I only made it through 5 or 6 of the rooms, because I saw
the remains of a child who may have been about 1 or 2 years old with a gaping
hole in his head
from where he was hit with a machete. Speaking about the genocide with local
people is a very sensitive topic. A lot of people speak in terms of before and
after the war /genocide. I don’t bring it up unless someone broaches the
topic with me, and even then hearing their stories is hard; because really what
can you say in response to the nightmare they lived through.
Random facts:
-Natural hair isn’t common here (unless you just became a Christian), so I
get stared at a lot.
-There’s a Dark & Lovely hair salon
-Lyrics to T-Pain, Akon, Brandy, Jay-Z, and a host of other hip-hop/R&B
artists are spray painted onto buildings, buses, taxis, etc. People will print
out the lyrics of these songs and ask me to explain them. (international social
responsibility is what I will be teaching about when I get back to the
states…read some of the following statements and you’ll understand why)
-I’ve had several chats with locals here about using the “n-word”, and
about what a ghetto really is.
-The BET awards is downloaded onto people’s computers, and watched over and
over again.
-They watch American videos here, and try to mimic them. Scantily clad women
in videos are automatically assumed to be American.
-It can get really cold here (I thought I was in Africa), so a jacket is
definitely needed
-Exercising here is hard because of the high elevation
-Gender equality doesn’t really exist, even though they have more women in
positions of power here then in any other country in Africa
-I miss a real mattress and pillow
-I’m losing my ability to speak and write coherently in English (it took me
forever to write this post, because I’m losing words)
-There’s no word for please or excuse me here…if people want to get by you
they just kind of push you out of the way…it’s interesting
-The PC nurse says that it’s highly likely that everyone will get malaria
here at least once (welcome to Africa!)
-There’s an actual verb for “to scrub a hyena vigorously”
-I found out my site placement!!!! I will be in Kigali (Rwanda’s largest
city), teaching and doing health/hygiene education at an all girls secondary
school. I’ve been told it’s the most prestigious girls school in the
country, so I’m really excited!! I go to visit my site, and see my house next
week so I’ll keep you all posted.
I apologize that this is so long, and appreciate you all taking the time to
read it. Miss and love you all!!!
Murabeho!! (Bye!)

Less than 2 weeks....

So I decided to finally create a blog after the persistent urgings of many.  I will use this as a venue to post my frustrations, celebrate my accomplishments (whether big or small), and to keep in contact with friends a family.  

Let me start off by saying...I'm excited!!! I thought I would be nervous, leaving for the unknown without a friend or family member to share this experience with, but I'm not.  Although I will miss everyone I can not wait to start this journey!  

In total contradiction of the aforementioned statement...I have yet to pack a thing!!! Being the truly analytical person that I am, and to justify why I have a master's degree in counseling psych., does this speak to something deeper?  Am I really ready to leave?  Am I subconsciously more anxious about this journey than I willingly admit?  Ehh...who knows (I guess I should explore that)?  

I think what I am anxious about is how in the world can I pack all that I will need for the next 2 yrs in 80 pounds worth of luggage?  For those that know me, and have traveled with me, you know how much I pack.  For a weekend trip I have one huge bag, and another "carry on" bag full of stuff.  A sista needs to have options!! I have to pack at least 2 outfits per day...what if I want to change, or decide that the first outfit just won't do?!?! Geez...but I am working on it people (don't judge me)!!